I suffered from eating disorders from age 12 to 30. This was a long time ago, but my heart goes out to women and men experiencing this now because the culture is not seeing body dysmorphia in the same way. Thank you for your beautiful writing.
I know you do not write for accolades. But my oh my. You have such a way of hitting TRUTH with a laser focus. This article really speaks to the depths of my soul. I, unfortunately, took the path of promiscuity as a teen, but also as (slightly) hardcore punk. I would vascillate between dressing not much different from prostitutes and dressing like a boy, jeans and Chuck Taylors and black concert shirts. All the while, I LOATHED men and their attraction to me, which I (ironically) saw as a weakness. This led me straight into feminism. I was addicted to the power that my femininity brought me all the while despising the effects of that femininity. It was truly a war within me.
So how did I escape all that destruction? God's mercy, period. He called me out of myself, out of hating my femininity, out of hating men. Part of what He did was bless me with three daughters and five sons and I was determined to not repeat my brokenness in their lives. It is not easy, but it's worth everything.
Thank you, yet again, for putting these words out into our broken culture. I pray it is read far and wide (I know I'm sharing it, though I'm not on social media) and that many of us hearken to the message.
Yes, evil tells girls they are ugly. And, now it offers them a solution- just become a boy! A relative’s best friend’s 12 year daughter is transgender. My relative said she just didn’t want to grow breasts. However, as I think back to this child being a toddler, I remember this same family member lamenting that this beautiful little girl was not as attractive as her mom and sister. I was taken aback by her attitude, and I am sickened to realize that this child was likely groomed to loathe herself by her family and their friends.
Such a sad story and so sad that this is going on. However, I must be honest and say I can’t relate. I guess I was fortunate to grow up with confidence in myself despite my parents always saying my brother was the good looking one and I was the smart one. I always assumed I was ugly but I just accepted who I was and made the best of it. Never tried to change anything. No one ever forced me to do anything and I never let anyone or anything influence me. I loved school and reading. If I was upset I read or I went walking or biking. I never really dwelled on the feminine and was kind of a Tom boy. I never paid much attention to fashion and looks and got along with men easier than women. I could talk all kinds of things and current events with men and they respected me and my thoughts. Once one of my male coworkers and friends said some things that made me feel uncomfortable. I let him know and he apologized and it never happened again. I had my share of encounters with jerks (male and female) through the course of life but I always either directly or indirectly let them know what I thought and I never let anyone treat me improperly. I either let them know or just got away and sometimes I did both. What is going on today with kids and gender is so terrible. Perhaps kids at a young age need to learn to know who they are and that they deserve to be treated properly and what proper treatment is. I don’t know but I always marched to my own beat and did my own thing. I never cared about fads and I didn’t care about what everyone else was doing. I will say if I was a youngster today I would probably stay away from social media as much as possible with reasoning being why should I subject myself to that kind of treatment by anyone, people I do know as well as those I don’t. Nope. Not taking it. I deserve better. Going to read a book. Maybe some kids will begin to think as I always have and maybe the predation on all unsuspecting innocent souls will be stopped.
Really lovely. I still feel this way. I love how our Faith tells us to do what's right despite our feelings. (I suppose I hope that one day "feelings" will align with Truth; but if not, every cross is beautiful if it's loved.)
Thank you for expressing everything I’ve ever thought and felt. Thank you for giving validation to all that is so overlooked about maturing children. I began teaching in the early ‘90s and it was all about girl power. Since, I’ve seen girls/women with less power than they realize because like you said about the saints, “they knew who they were”. Multiple generations are lost and need to know who they are. Who God made them to be. A lovely book is The Privilege of being a Woman. We have 4 girls and they’re struggling like i never imagined. One son that we’re taking a different path with since he is the youngest. At 14 he has no phone or access to online anything unless we are with him. It’s hard work. I know it’ll produce beauty. Prayers for all.
Such important, balanced words for a critical moment. I hope many can read it.
I suffered from eating disorders from age 12 to 30. This was a long time ago, but my heart goes out to women and men experiencing this now because the culture is not seeing body dysmorphia in the same way. Thank you for your beautiful writing.
I know you do not write for accolades. But my oh my. You have such a way of hitting TRUTH with a laser focus. This article really speaks to the depths of my soul. I, unfortunately, took the path of promiscuity as a teen, but also as (slightly) hardcore punk. I would vascillate between dressing not much different from prostitutes and dressing like a boy, jeans and Chuck Taylors and black concert shirts. All the while, I LOATHED men and their attraction to me, which I (ironically) saw as a weakness. This led me straight into feminism. I was addicted to the power that my femininity brought me all the while despising the effects of that femininity. It was truly a war within me.
So how did I escape all that destruction? God's mercy, period. He called me out of myself, out of hating my femininity, out of hating men. Part of what He did was bless me with three daughters and five sons and I was determined to not repeat my brokenness in their lives. It is not easy, but it's worth everything.
Thank you, yet again, for putting these words out into our broken culture. I pray it is read far and wide (I know I'm sharing it, though I'm not on social media) and that many of us hearken to the message.
Yes, evil tells girls they are ugly. And, now it offers them a solution- just become a boy! A relative’s best friend’s 12 year daughter is transgender. My relative said she just didn’t want to grow breasts. However, as I think back to this child being a toddler, I remember this same family member lamenting that this beautiful little girl was not as attractive as her mom and sister. I was taken aback by her attitude, and I am sickened to realize that this child was likely groomed to loathe herself by her family and their friends.
Ha. I wanted to hide because my chest was flat! Now I can see that had it been the opposite, I would've likely hated that too.
Such a sad story and so sad that this is going on. However, I must be honest and say I can’t relate. I guess I was fortunate to grow up with confidence in myself despite my parents always saying my brother was the good looking one and I was the smart one. I always assumed I was ugly but I just accepted who I was and made the best of it. Never tried to change anything. No one ever forced me to do anything and I never let anyone or anything influence me. I loved school and reading. If I was upset I read or I went walking or biking. I never really dwelled on the feminine and was kind of a Tom boy. I never paid much attention to fashion and looks and got along with men easier than women. I could talk all kinds of things and current events with men and they respected me and my thoughts. Once one of my male coworkers and friends said some things that made me feel uncomfortable. I let him know and he apologized and it never happened again. I had my share of encounters with jerks (male and female) through the course of life but I always either directly or indirectly let them know what I thought and I never let anyone treat me improperly. I either let them know or just got away and sometimes I did both. What is going on today with kids and gender is so terrible. Perhaps kids at a young age need to learn to know who they are and that they deserve to be treated properly and what proper treatment is. I don’t know but I always marched to my own beat and did my own thing. I never cared about fads and I didn’t care about what everyone else was doing. I will say if I was a youngster today I would probably stay away from social media as much as possible with reasoning being why should I subject myself to that kind of treatment by anyone, people I do know as well as those I don’t. Nope. Not taking it. I deserve better. Going to read a book. Maybe some kids will begin to think as I always have and maybe the predation on all unsuspecting innocent souls will be stopped.
Really lovely. I still feel this way. I love how our Faith tells us to do what's right despite our feelings. (I suppose I hope that one day "feelings" will align with Truth; but if not, every cross is beautiful if it's loved.)
Excellent job!
Thank you for expressing everything I’ve ever thought and felt. Thank you for giving validation to all that is so overlooked about maturing children. I began teaching in the early ‘90s and it was all about girl power. Since, I’ve seen girls/women with less power than they realize because like you said about the saints, “they knew who they were”. Multiple generations are lost and need to know who they are. Who God made them to be. A lovely book is The Privilege of being a Woman. We have 4 girls and they’re struggling like i never imagined. One son that we’re taking a different path with since he is the youngest. At 14 he has no phone or access to online anything unless we are with him. It’s hard work. I know it’ll produce beauty. Prayers for all.
Thank you for articulating this so well.