Relax, it’s just a brain-eating parasite
The quandary of Christian content creation, letting go of Lent, and several pleasant links
I spent quite a bit of the winter sitting in front of blank pages trying to meet deadlines… and struggling. My body and soul are profoundly tired of winter and illness and the frenzy of the information highway with which I cannot compete and to which I don’t have an original thought to add. There are a number of ways to cheat at this; faster means of creating such as artificial intelligence and, well, stealing. Some folks do make a pretty good living thieving from unknowns who pour their hearts out on blogs and social media.
Select. Copy. Paste. $$$
The first time I saw my writing attached to someone else’s name in this way was shocking. A successful Catholic blogger had taken one of my blog posts and lightly edited to make it her own. It wasn’t the last time and not nearly the most painful. Eventually, I reconciled (mostly?) to coexisting with the new reality of the desperate race for content, took a long break (one of many over the years), and came back convicted:
To make Him known. In His time. In His way. For His glory.
I’m only so-so at this, by the way. Nevertheless, I return to the blank screen again and continue the slow trudge. I’ve been told that my contrariness will keep me in the dark ages. “You’ll fall behind,” they say. Well, I know. It’s fine. Left behind from a place maybe no one should be going anyway. Maybe life is supposed to be a good deal slower and we are at risk of losing what is deep and beautiful in the mad dash to make it all about something of our own creation.
One of my kids suggested that my epitaph should read “Here lies dear Mother. She says it’s fine.” Pretty accurate. Today I repeat:
It’s fine. It’s fine. I’m a little bird. A slight green shoot. His pencil (to borrow a word). A tiny bug. Whatever He wants.
And my thoughts shift to bug analogies and the tension between creation and consumption…
Frenzied content creation is like an innocent looking winter moth. In the process of its own growth into being, it consumes the first fruits of its host and kills its source of life. As a cute green caterpillar, it grows by eating young leaves from tree buds, and the leaves often emerge with only the skeletal veins remaining. Sometimes green leaves do sprout but riddled with holes. Though most trees can survive a year of such damage, extended harm puts the life of the tree at risk. Vulnerable trees (the young, the delicate) may not survive that first year.
It’s not an evil creature… it just might require a little direction to prevent infestation and widespread damage.
People aren’t moths (this statement is an example of brilliant content creation, by the way). Sticky tape won’t help us restrain our appetites and keep us from devouring our life source as we scramble for survival. We must restrain ourselves. Slower. Disciplined. With proper understanding of abundance and scarcity and the proper order of things.
More Discussion of Bugs… Plus Parasites!
I’m supposed to be typing but am instead ruminating on insects while humming that one Mary Chapin Carpenter song about the hard and random relationship between bugs and windshields. My 6-year old leans against my shoulder while I stare at the irritating blank screen…
Boy: What are you doing, Mommy?
Me: Oh, just trying to write.
Boy: Well, I know what you should write about. Brain eating parasites! Everyone wants to know about those!
He’s right. Everyone does want to talk about brain eating parasites. I mean this metaphorically but did fall into a real rabbit hole of parasitic horror… and maybe I’m never going swimming again. I’m certainly never going to a rainforest. Some real headlines:
Zombie Caterpillars Rain Death From Treetops
Parasitic wasp turns caterpillars into head-banging bodyguards
Can a cat parasite control your mind?
Three Cases of Brain-Infecting Parasite Recently Confirmed in Hawaii
Anyway…
We know that fear and anger are reliable dopamine triggers, which explains so much about the unhinged side of the digital world. So as I step tremulously back into the rhythm of the keyboard life, I’m going to keep the boy’s advice in mind. Content creation can be parasitic to self and others or it can be life-giving. So many analogies. Maybe I’m just a winter moth, hungry and looking for sustenance in order to expand… but not really. I’m a rational creature, created to love and be loved, with a goal higher than survival. Thanks be to God.
Brain-Eating Parasites and their Remedies
There are a few topics I will cover in the coming weeks that require acknowledgment of brain eating parasites in order to offer their remedy. I’m not going to get into those today but there is one time-sensitive blight that merits a brief nod. I’ll just speak plainly…
Many Catholics are better at being a Lenten people than Easter people and it’s causing a great deal of unnecessary anxiety… and a loss of faith.
The hope of a Christian ought to be the outstanding feature of his or her life. What happens when the outward expression of joyful hope is suppressed to an idol of fear and depressive piety? We’re seeing what happens. We’ve shifted. A slight turning of the shoulder away from Christ even though we know intellectually that holiness is not primarily defined by avoidance or knowledge of evil. Neither is it defined by a pharisaical adherence to the laws of faith which are untethered from the Heart of Jesus Christ. Holiness is an immersion in and obedience to Divine Love.
For now, I just want to share a photo of someone dumping a basket of plastic eggs over my head for one of those “Hey, let’s see if we can get a cool picture of eggs being dumped over someone’s head” moments of a slow and joyful holy season. It’s 50 days long… get celebrating!
Miscellany and Links:
Various items that I’ve been enjoying and perusing during this blessed Easter season…
Runaway is a song by Jess Ray that brings me so much peace and consolation. I love this version which includes a brief explanation of what inspired her to write it.
Why All the Fascination With the Devil and Exorcism? Solid and plain speaking article by John Clark about current trends in Catholic culture.
Pietra Fitness instructor training registration closes May 31st. I cannot say enough good about the program and the community. I especially recommend for former yoga buffs or instructors who are seeking to turn away from the roots of Hindu bodily prayer and surrender everything back to the Lord. Registration is only open until May 31st so start your inquiry now. Please tell them I sent you! Also, use my link to get a 14-day free trial to their online studio and find local instructors.
The Saintmaker Catholic Life Planner This is the planner I currently use and I love the seasonal volumes. The Spring and Summer volumes are both on sale right now. There’s also a discount on subscriptions so that your planner books come automatically each season. (Yes, it’s an affiliate link. Thank you!)
This Time the Crucifixion Will Be Personal. This Crisis Magazine article is two years old but new to me. It struck a chord as I recently finished watching the third season of The Chosen and the crucifixion draws nearer. I suspect it will be harder to watch than even Gibson’s Passion. It also crossed my mind that my children will have their hearts broken… and I’m not sure how far to walk this path (a kind of Visio Divina) with the youngest ones. We will see.
Austin Ruse writes “I dread the final season of The Chosen because that is when they will kill my dear friend Jesus.” Yes, I feel this deeply but I’m not sorry we’ve made the journey this far… and I know how it all ends. Alleluia.
In a recent episode of the Restore the Glory podcast, guest Fr. Timothy Gallagher said…
“The more healing happens on a physical and emotional level, the less space there is for the enemy to work.”
I was washing dishes in my kitchen and I started waving around a spatula in vigorous agreement. The neighbors might have heard my AMEN. There are many podcasts on healing out there. I listen to almost none of them. The information overload can so often be counterproductive to peace of mind and body. But this one? I make an effort.
On a more personal note, it’s been a year and a half since I was chewed up and spit out by the Dread Pirate Virus and I’m surprised and disappointed to say that I have not reached my pre-illness state of strength and health. I had visions of coming back strong and running a marathon or something as others have done. I BEAT IT! That’s what I wanted to say and the victory I wanted to claim.
I have done things reasonably right as far as caring for my body but have still been sick with something at least once a month for 9 consecutive months. I’ve been joking with my family that I’m going for a full year of illnesses but the joke is starting to feel predictive.
My immune system took a hiatus and the part that was left went a little wonky (not a medical term but accurate). Some of it has been unusually difficult. I’m tired. I’ve been faithfully starting again and again and again—knowing that my body is up against underlying disease and the impact of a lab-created devil virus that dealt many a terrible blow—but I haven’t always gotten out of bed with a smile or any measurable degree of confidence.
Someone once wrote that dealing with illness isn’t an act of courage because we don’t choose it like a soldier would choose to go to battle. They said it isn’t an act of courage to face something you can’t walk away from. I don’t agree. Sometimes it takes a great deal of courage to agree to face a day with a measure of peace and surrender. It takes tremendous courage to decide to live a meaningful life in spite of having little understanding of the mechanism of that work. Maybe we don’t choose to enter the battle, but here we are. With hard choices to make.
For those of you who battle chronic illness, vaccine injury, long effects of trauma of any kind, fatigue, etc… I know that the battle in your head is often even more exhausting than the battle within your body. I don’t have deep wisdom on this day so I’ll just offer a kind word and an “I see you.”
Every cell in your body is precious to God. Don’t panic. Just one step at a time. You don’t have to write it all, build it all, fix it all. He loves you.
Happy Easter, friends! He is risen indeed! Alleluia!
Melody
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Thanks for introducing Jess Ray to me. She has an extraordinary voice. Beautiful song.